help stamp out home cooking

"Hey look what i have," says Brenda Woods of Eden Lane Gifts, "The brand new carry all bag from the Grumpy Gourmet."

Top 10 Reasons to Give Up Homecooking

10
TV star-pitchmen such as the Maytag repairman really do not exist when fuses blow.

9
Martha Stewart's recipes really do not work in private home kitchens.

8
Mrs. Paul's deep fried fish parts taste better than homemade battered fish sticks

7
Even Big Macs have taste after mom's long day of handling four kids and one sick cat.

6
After so many days even Chef Boyardee wears out his welcome.

5
Betty Crocker ran off with the mailman.

4
I haven't trusted anything Chinese since Chung King was canned in Jackson, Ohio.

3
Wobbly legs on TV tray.

2
911 operators have me on their do-not-respond list.

1
Martha Stewart doesn't make house calls.

Think you have a better reason to "Stamp Out Home Cooking?" Send your single suggestion to the Grump. If the Grump Editorial Board thinks it is a winner we will post it and give you first name credit.
Eventually you may have a place in literary history. The Grump is planning a cartoon book to illustrate the best submissions.

Send your suggestions to the Grump:
iPlate@grumpygourmetusa.com

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